Rain
The most interesting thing happened this morning: rain.
I know, that may not sound so interesting, but let me explain.
These past few days have been very heavy for me. Heavy. I don’t really know how to explain it except that it’s just heavy–heaviness in my soul. Heaviness in my heart. Heaviness, burden, lethargy, sadness, subtle gloominess. It’s almost like a low-grade depression.
I awoke this morning again feeling heavy. Lord, what is this?, I prayed. Then, off I went to make my morning hazelnut latte. As I sat down at the computer to journal, again I prayed, What is this heaviness? I don’t like it.
Quietly and gently, the Lord began to show me some of the internal thoughts I had just a few days ago, thoughts about my weight and my appearance. My wife and I have been training for a marathon, and I’ve enjoyed the morning runs–the increased energy and the weight loss. I started feeling pretty good about myself.
Then, as we got back from our vacation this past weekend, I saw a picture of myself in the river swimming. Up to that point, I thought this initial weight loss would have some outward appearance, but I still looked big, and it was very discouraging. Then, over the past couple of days, my knees have been bothering me, so I decided to slow down and not run as much, which again was a bit discouraging.
Lord, is it something I said or thought?
When you saw the pictures of yourself in the river, you were very discouraged at your weight. Even after running for so long, you are not happy with yourself.
He want on to explain to me that how I view myself is essential to the joy (or lack of joy) that I will experience. Joy is an attitude of the heart that we choose to receive or push away. Joy is not the result of circumstances–good or bad. It’s a choice. And, the moment I saw those pictures, I was hit with discouragement, the enemy of joy. Rather than fight it off, I chose to accept it. Nothing has changed. Here I am running and working hard, and for what? I still look the same.
So, I talked the Lord about it. I told him I was wrong for not fighting off those ungodly thoughts, for not choosing joy. I reminded myself that losing weight, training for a marathon, getting into shape takes time. It took time to get out of shape, and it’ll take time to get into shape.
After spending some wonderful time with my Father, the discouragement lifted. I feel lighter in my soul. Joy is coming back. Discouragement is leaving. It feels good!
So what does rain have to do with it? Here in Texas, it gets really hot in the summer. This week, we’re having 100+ degree days–dry, cloudless, hot, summer days. So, this morning as I’m praying through this issue with discouragement, it starts to rain. I heard trickling water outside but thought, That can’t be rain. The only forecast this week is hot, hot, hot.
Then, boom, the thunder rolls in–all this around the time that God is helping me deal with this heaviness. I peek outside, and sure enough, it’s raining. It’s raining when it shouldn’t be raining. Very odd. Very God.
Immediately, my mind goes to Isaiah 55:10-13,
“The rain and snow come down from the heavens and stay on the ground to water the earth. They cause the grain to grow, producing seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry. It is the same with my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It will accomplish all I want it to, and it will prosper everywhere I send it. You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills will burst into song, and the trees of the field will clap their hands! Where once there were thorns, cypress trees will grow. Where briers grew, myrtles will sprout up. This miracle will bring great honor to the LORD’s name; it will be an everlasting sign of his power and love.”
God is sending his word, his promises. I will live in joy and in peace. What an amazing promise!
Thank you, Lord, for the rain!
Heart Monitor
My wife and I are runners. We’ve signed up for a marathon training program. She’s training for a full marathon, and I’m training for a half. I guess that makes me half the woman she is. Not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing.
After coming back from vacation this past weekend, we couldn’t find our running watch and heart monitor. It’s a cool little device that monitors your heart rate while you run, and then calculates calories burned (never enough) while monitoring your time (needs to be longer) and your heart rate (a little high).
We searched the house over. Still couldn’t find it. I’m starting to think that maybe we left it at our vacation spot. While driving home, I had this thought, “I should check the red backpack.” Then, immediately I thought, Is that you God?
When I got home, I told my wife to check her red backpack. Sure enough, it was in there. We had searched all of our bags quite a few times over. But, for some reason, we missed the red backpack.
So, the big question–was that God? Was he whispering that thought into my mind? Did I hear the voice of God? Or, was it just a memory, a coincidence, a random thought?
I believe it was the voice of God. Why?
First, my wife and I often pray and ask God to show us where things are when we can’t find them, and we often hear him tell us where they are.
Secondly, the followup thought I had was quite interesting–Is that you God? That’s not a normal thought for me. I didn’t necessarily pray for God to show us where the heart monitor was, but I think about that one scripture that says, “your Father knows exactly what you need even before you ask him” (Matthew 6:8). It’s like I had this thought, I should pray.
And thirdly, we often think God is only concerned with big issues–world hunger, presidential elections, war in the MIddle East, getting along with my mother-in-law. But, it’s not just the big things that God cares about. I have learned that God even cares for the little things in our lives. He’s not like man that gets burdened with many things. He can handle them all–lost keys, electricity bills, should I take this job, help me with my mother-in-law.
He desires to be involved in every area of your life, even the heart monitors.
Where to start?
I have so much to share about my journey with God–things I learned, mistakes I’ve made, stuff I’ve heard from God. Lots to share.
At the same time, I want to make sure there’s a solid foundation for what I want to share with you. It’s actually quite easy to say, “God told me this…” But to substantiate it, verify it and confirm that it was really God–that can be a challenge.
I will start with this: if you don’t believe in God, then this blog isn’t for you. I’m not going to field questions, comments, rants or debates about the existence of God. There are other blogs for that.
Also, I will be using scripture from the Bible to support certain topics, experiences and any other posts that need Biblical clarification or validation. I use a variety of translations when I read, but often refer to the New King James Version (NKJV) for heavier studies. Sometimes, I will look up words in Greek and Hebrew to gain further insight.
I don’t want this blog to become an intricate Bible study on “hearing God”. Rather, I want to share my experiences with what it’s like to walk with God, to hear his voice and to experience him at a level that is life impacting.
Welcome to my journey with God
This is my story, my journey with God. For many years, I have chronicled my walk with the Divine, and I want to take some time to share my experience with you.
Can we really commune with the Creator? Can we hear his voice? Deeper still, does he even care with what’s going on in our lives?
I think too many people, without knowing it, see a relationship with God like their relationship with their father–distant, disconnected, and unemotional. For many, there is no real reference on what a perfect father/child relationship looks like.
Yet, he pursues us. Woos us. Draws us into an intimate walk with him.
What does that look like? What is it like to “walk with God”? Can we hear his voice? Can we know his will. Can we really understand what he is saying to us?
I think so. I believe so. He has guided my life so clearly, so wonderfully over the past few years. Is my life perfect? Uhh, no. By no means, but I have experienced a touch from heaven, from God. I know that I’ve heard his voice. And I know that he longs to speak to everyone of his children.
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