This morning, I awoke to the voice of God. You must be thinking, How wonderful! Not really. It was more of a rebuke, a warning. Here’s what I heard: “Son, you’ve checked out.” And, I knew exactly what he was referring to.
You see, there’s this little area of my soul that I am still struggling to get ahold of. I say “little” because lots of Christians today wouldn’t even classify it as sin. Yet, the Lord, in his rebuke this morning reminded me, “it is sin to know what you ought to do and then not do it” (James 4:17). Ouch. But, he’s right. Have you ever noticed that he’s always right?
The words he used “checked out” have such deep meaning to me. I’m driven by destiny, by purpose. I get so excited living out my destiny and moving towards a goal and purpose. I love that kind of stuff. I would call myself a visionary. I can see what the future holds to those who are living out their calling.
So, the words this morning “checked out” were remarkably scary for me. I know that I am running this incredible race called “the human life”. And, it is a race. Paul often referred to this life of faith as a race:
- “Remember that in a race everyone runs, but only one person gets the prize. You also must run in such a way that you will win. All athletes practice strict self-control. They do it to win a prize that will fade away, but we do it for an eternal prize. So I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified” (1 Corinthians 9:24-27).
I love this scripture! Just love it! I must run in such a way that I will win. And, I must run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. This is all very powerful to me. So, when I heard, “Son, you’ve checked out,” it hit me like a ton of bricks. I realized that this little dark area of my soul that I haven’t completely surrendered to God could easily disqualify me from the race. It’s true! I have checked out, and I need to get back in.
If I’m not running towards the goal with purpose in every step, then why run at all?
This morning, I declare this over my life, “I’m checking in. I’m ready to run. I will focus on the goal at hand, and I will surrender to the Lord this little dark area of my soul.”
I’m reminded of a story I read in John’s Edredge’s book, “Waking the Dead”. He writes:
- When Spillane (The Perfect Storm) treats injured seamen offshore, one of the first things he evaluates is their degree of consciousness. The higher the level, known as ‘alert and oriented times four,’ describes almost everyone in an everyday situation. They know who they are, where they are, what time it is, and what’s just happened. If someone suffers a blow to the head, the first thing they lose is recent events–’alert times three’–and the last thing they lose is their identity. A person who has lost all levels of consciousness, right down to their identity, is said to be ‘alert and oriented times zero.’ When John Spillane wakes up in the water, he is alert and oriented times zero. His understanding of the world is reduced to the fact that he exists, nothing more. Almost simultaneously, he understands that he is in excruciating pain. For a long time, that is all he knows.
John Spillane is a para-rescue jumper sent into the North Atlantic, into the worst storm of the twentieth century, the perfect storm, as the book and film called it, to rescue a fisherman lost at sea. When his helicopter goes down, he is forced to jump into pitch blackness from an unknown height, and when he hits the water, he’s going so fast it’s like hitting the pavement from eighty feet above. He is dazed and confused–just as we are when it comes to the story of our lives. It’s the perfect analogy. We have no idea who we really are, why we’re here, what’s supposed to happen to us, or why. Honestly, most days we are alert and oriented times zero.”
When I awoke, I was “alert and oriented times zero”. But, it’s time to start running the race again with purpose in every step. Today, I am “alert and oriented times four”. Today, I’m back in the race!