No Regrets – the Power of Forgiveness
On September 28th, about 3 weeks ago, I got a call at 6am. My Father had unexpectedly passed away during the night in his sleep. He was 76 years old.
As the oldest son, I immediately packed up some clothes and made the four-hour drive home with my wife. I knew it was going to be a difficult week. So many emotions, so many things to do, so many tears to shed.
The drive was very numb… no radio, no music, very few spoken words. Just lots of thinking.
I remember thinking very clearly about my relationship with my dad. It was good, very good.
It wasn’t always good. When I was in high school and college, I had such an anger within myself, and I often focused it on my dad. It was totally misdirected. The enemy was relentless and obviously at work to destroy the father-son relationship. But, thankfully, when I was out of college and chasing after God, he showed me that my anger was wrong, misdirected and inaccurate. Over a period of a few months, God began to show me just how much my dad loved me and how hard he worked for me. The anger melted away and forgiveness flooded my heart. I wrote him a letter apologizing and telling him how much I appreciated him.
Everything changed in my relationship with my dad after that letter. We were closer. We hugged more. We talked more. I sought his advice on business decisions, artistic decision, personal decision. It was wonderful!
On the drive to San Marcos that morning, I remembered where our relationship was and where it had grown to, and the feeling of peace covered me like a blanket. I had no regrets. None. There were no, “I wish I would have said…” or “I wish we had done this…” No regrets. Everything I wanted to say and do, I did.
There is power in forgiveness… incredible power.
Over these past three weeks, people have been asking me how I’m doing. Sure, there’s pain, but honestly there is also peace. Yes, there’s grieving, loss, mourning and pain. But, there doesn’t have to be regret. Forgiveness is your choice.
These past few weeks, I’ve been encouraging those around me to make things right with everyone close to them. It’s healthy. It’s powerful. It’s commanded. Forgiveness is an incredible choice that can free you to live a full life. Someone said to me this week that our focus in this life needs to be “the 6 or 7 people who will be crying at your funeral… your family”.
I’m going to start a series of blog postings about the forgiveness and how we can find freedom through forgiveness.
Richard Lee “Dick” Pond passed away peacefully in his sleep Monday morning, September 28th in San Marcos, Texas. He was born on December 25, 1932 in Lubbock, Texas. Immediately after they were born, Dick and his identical twin, Donald Ritchie “Don”, were adopted by Virgil Lee Pond and Alice Irene “Betty” Rutherford Pond of Amarillo, Texas.
As a young boy, Dick delivered prescriptions on his bicycle, worked at a soda fountain and set pins at the local bowling alley to earn his lunch money. While in high school, Dick was the school photographer where his interest in photography began to grow. Immediately after high school graduation, Dick joined the Navy in 1951. He moved to Santa Barbara, California to study at the Brooks Institute of Photography where he was elected student body president. After graduating with honors, Dick moved to Minnesota where he worked for master photographers, Bob Pritchard and Everett Kroger.
While in Minnesota, Dick bought a golden retriever that he named “Rustler of the Red River”, or Rusty. After two short years of obedience training, Rusty obtained the highest level of recognition, a “Utility Degree (UD)”, which landed Dick and Rusty on the cover of “Dog World Magazine”. Over the course of 13 years, Dick and Rusty went on to win more than 90 awards.
In 1960, Dick moved to Gallup, New Mexico, to manage a photography studio for Helen Auble. Next door to the studio was a coffee shop that he would often frequent. There he met Paula Mary Ziak, a waitress who served him his coffee. On September 19, 1964, the two were married. Dick continued bowling, training dogs and became one of the most prominent photographers in the area. He photographed the Ladies International Basketball Championships in Gallup, and his work was used in the High School Girls’ Athletics basketball handbook. He won many photography awards.
While in Gallup, their first son, Russell Lee Pond, was born. Shortly after his birth, the new family followed friends Vi and Auvel Adcock to San Marcos, Texas where Dick launched his own photography business, Pond Studio, in November 1967. Their second son, Randy Lee Pond, was born three years later. The Pond family spent many summers camping at Canyon Lake, where they would fish, water ski, and enjoy time with friends.
Dick had the opportunity to indulge his entrepreneurial spirit. His photography business continued to flourish with countless school, wedding and family photos. He ran a dog obedience school called “Pond’s Canine College”. With his experience and skill as a dog trainer, he often coordinated and judged the dog relay races at Chilympiad, and taught obedience classes for the German Shepherd Dog Club of Austin. Dick also purchased property in Martindale where he rented and maintained five mobile homes for many years.
Dick was an avid bowler, and he participated in many local leagues, as well as state and national tournaments. He was the Bowling League and San Marcos Association president for many years. Dick also enjoyed hunting and fishing.
In 1995, Dick closed Pond Studio and continued working as a photographer out of his home. He also spent much time working in his garden, and making beef jerky and sourdough bread for his friends. Dick rarely missed his morning and afternoon coffee with friends. He also enjoyed spending time on the computer, sending out his weekly “bull letter” to family and friends. Even after retirement, Dick loved his photography and continued taking pictures every chance he had.
Dick was preceded in death by his parents. He is survived by his wife of 45 years, Paula; son Russell Pond and his wife Angela of Euless, Texas; son Randy Pond and Teal Warren of Austin, Texas; his brother Donald Pond and his wife Betty of Centennial, Colorado; grandchildren Caleb Jeremiah Pond, Wyatt Cooper Pond and Hope Ivy Warren; niece Kathy and husband Matt Wagoner; great-nieces Anna and Evie Wagoner and cousins Ruby Mae Woods, Cody Elliott and son Cole, and Sharon Jones.
TheBibleNow.org
Do you need your daily dose of the Word, but don’t have time to get on your computer, open the browser, launch a bookmark, wait for it load, and then be inspired? Or, maybe you’re technically challenged, and think “Twitter on your Facebook” is a skin condition. Check out this new service — TheBibleNow.org.
Each day during the week (M-F), you receive a daily Bible verse as a text message on your cell phone. It’s a pay service (only $5.99 per month), but it’s cool because they give away 90% of the proceeds. That’s like reverse tithe numbers. Crazy!
If you wanna get your daily dose of scripture, check out TheBibleNow.org and help out ministries while you’re at it, ministries like Aspen Project, Casas Por Cristo and GC Alliance.
Disappointed with God
I wonder sometimes if I’m disappointed with God. It’s not an outward shaking of my fist, “God, I’m disappointed with you.” No, it’s more of a quiet, inner gnawing where my thoughts drift to God’s intentions for me. God, are you really guiding me?
I know he loves me. I don’t question that. But, I wonder at times if he is really guiding my steps and ordering my path in life. Is he really moving me to the place where I need to be in life? Is this “Journey with God” my leading or his?
For some, this is not a big issue, but there is within me this deep need to walk with purpose in life. One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Corinthians 9:26, “I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step.” I know it’s God’s desire for me to walk with purpose, but the harder I press in to really understand this, the quieter heaven becomes, or so it seems.
I find myself disappointed. I spent the past month pressing into God to hear what he has planned for me this year. At first, I was disappointed at myself for not having sought God enough. Then, that underlying gnawing started to arise in me. God, you’re all powerful and all knowing. Surely, you can make my purpose known to me. That’s not a hard thing. I know it’s what you want. Nothing. Then, the disappointment started.
Lately, I’ve been talking to some people about the promises of God. One lady in particular has been waiting years for an answered prayer. I can hear in her words how the passing of years have become terribly discouraging. Her soul is wounded and bleeding, unhealed. It manifests in tears and unspoken disappointment.
Maybe you are disappointed with God. I know there are times that I’ve been disappointed. How do you respond?
First, God knows everything. He knows your thoughts. He created your inmost being. He knows you better than you know yourself. Maybe you’re disappointed and haven’t really admitted it to God. Maybe you’re afraid to admit it. Don’t be. God wants us to talk to him in all honesty. We must worship him in spirit and it truth. So, be honest with him. Or at least, be willing to be honest. Tell him how you really feel.
Next, let God show you if you are disappointed at him. Maybe, just maybe, you’ve stuffed all of this disappointment with God, because “it would be sin to be disappointed with God.” That’s okay—all of our sin has been dealt with on the Cross. Maybe God wants to help you through this disappointment so that this wound can be treated properly and healed. Let him show you. Let him be the Great Physician he is.
I believe there are many believers who have some unspoken disappointment with God. An unanswered prayer. A delayed promise. A difficult situation.
Even deeper, there are some believers who don’t even know or admit that they are disappointed with God. Out of pride or fear or a “religious” upbringing, they won’t admit in their hearts that they are disappointed with God. They bury it, hide it, maybe even numb it so that they don’t have to admit what they think would be a sin.
Why don’t you ask him? “Father, am I disappointed with you in anyway? Have I buried any disappointment with you and don’t acknowledge it? Through Holy Spirit, show me. Help me know the truth.”
Jesus said to the people who believed in him,“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).
A good New Year’s Resolution
With 2009 just around the corner, a lot of people start talking about “New Year’s Resolutions”. It those promises we make to ourselves to, like:
- Lose weight
- Stop smoking
- Get out of debt
- Start exercising
- Go to church
- Drink less
Or, maybe it’s a time to set some personal goals, like:
- Write a book
- Run a marathon
- Make a short film
- Start painting
- Try sculpting
- Start an Internet business
- Go back to school
I’ve made many of these resolutions before, and I’ll probably make many of them again. But something has really got me jazzed about 2009. It’s going to be an exciting year! I believe we are incredibly ripe with opportunity for this coming year.
So, how do we move forward? What are some good, Godly new year’s resolutions? Where do I start?
I think the first, most important step is learning to look forward, not back. Your 2008 may be filled with mistakes, regret, discouragement, and failures. And, you want to enter into 2009 with hope, faith and strength. You can!
I came across this promise while running the Whiterock marathon two weeks ago. It was on the back of lady’s shirt as an encouragement to other runners. It simply said, “Forgetting what’s behind, I press on.”
I knew the scripture. I had read it before. So, this week, I pulled it up in my Bible program and read all of it:
I keep working toward that day when I will finally be all that Christ Jesus saved me for and wants me to be. I am still not all I should be, but I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us up to heaven. (Philippians 3:12b-14)
I just love that. Here’s Paul–the writer of the New Testament, the most devoted of Jews, a follower of Christ to his death–and he writes, “I am still not all I should be.” He knows he hadn’t arrived. He wasn’t perfect. He was still working, moving, striving for the goal. So, what did he do?
He focused all his energy on this one thing–forgetting what was behind, and pressing on towards the goal.
This is my New Year’s Resolution: to forget about the mistakes, the failures, the sin, and the regrets from 2008 and focus on what Jesus wants me to be in 2009.
Words of Peace
“Don’t be afraid. Just trust me.”
This morning, I’m sitting in favorite coffee shop getting ready for a video shoot. As I’m sitting here, sipping on my Hazlenut latte, I’m thinking through some of the personal struggles going on in my life right now. They’re a little discouraging.
Then, I come across these words of Jesus in Mark 5:36. So simple, but so powerful.
I just start weeping. I can trust Jesus. I don’t need to be afraid.
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