Letter to my Soul

January 25, 2009 · Filed Under renewing our mind · 2 Comments 

I just finished writing a letter to my soul. That may sound odd at first, but there are a couple of reasons why I’m doing this:

1. It’s scriptural

King David often talked to his soul. Psalms 42 is a good example of this:

    Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. (Psalms 42:5)

I also think of Mary, the mother of Jesus, when she learned that she was pregnant by the Holy Spirit, she talks about her soul in the third person:

    My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior (Luke 1:46-47).

I find a few occasions in the Bible where Godly people would talk to their soul or about their soul in the third person. I realized this past week that my soul needed some talking to.

2. Our souls have a mind of their own it seems

There have been times when I was tempted and gave in, and it felt like my soul just took over. I would be right in the middle of the sin, and I felt like I was on the outside, watching myself make this absolutely wrong decisions but deep down not wanting to do it, yet still doing it.

Talking to my soul

So, I decided to have a talk with my soul, to write a letter to it. I started to realize that it is through my soul that many of my decisions are being made, and I don’t believe that’s the way God intended.

Your soul is your mind, will and emotions. It’s your memories, your choices and your perspective on life. We humans often interpret the world around us through our soul.

Initially, you would think this is normal, that this is the way God intended. The problem is that our soul is often wounded, bruised and deeply hurt, and instinctively, we cope or compensate or build walls in our heart about how we make decisions.

For example, maybe a close friend or relative hurts you deeply, and you immediately vow to yourself, I will never let that happen to me again. So, you start building walls in your soul to keep that from happening again. You refuse to trust at a deep level, or maybe you limit new relationships to just superficial ones, never letting anyone close to you. Your God-embedded need for deep relationships now suffers, and you begin to search out unhealthy relationships to compensate.

Unhealed wounds, patterns of thinking, lifelong habits, and strongholds all affect how we make decisions. And our soul is not supposed to be our master. That’s why David told his soul, “Why are you so disturbed, soul? Put your hope on God. Stop trusting in yourself.”

We are commanded by God to change the way we think.

    “Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do, and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.” Romans 12:2, NLT.
    “Since you have heard all about him and have learned the truth that is in Jesus, throw off your old evil nature and your former way of life, which is rotten through and through, full of lust and deception. Instead, there must be a spiritual renewal of your thoughts and attitudes. You must display a new nature because you are a new person, created in God’s likeness–righteous, holy, and true.” Ephesians 4:21-24, NLT.

It’s time to let my God-birthed spirit rise up and take control of those areas in my soul that have been wounded, confused and making poor choices. It’s time for you, soul, to surrender.

The Letter

Dear Soul,

Far too long, my soul, you have made decisions for me, and most of those decisions have been to just satisfy yourself, or some gaping wounds you’re trying to fill. No more. No more decisions. No more following your fleshly, carnal demands. It’s time you are denied your demands. Kick and scream all you want, but I’m not listening nor obeying you anymore.

Soul, your destructive motivation have been revealed. I see this now in Romans 7:18-19, I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.

This is my version: I—the alive, reborn spirit of Russ—desires to do what is good, but my soul hinders me from carrying it out. For what my soul acts upon is not the good my spirit longs to do. No. The evil that my spirit cringes at is the evil my soul screams to do.

Soul, you’re finished. By the authority of Jesus Christ, I command you to submit to my spirit—the spirit that is alive in Christ through the power of God’s Holy Spirit.

If Jesus can resist sin even unto the point of shedding blood (Hebrews 12:4), then surely my soul can be denied is sinful ways, because “the same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead inside of me” (Ephesians 1:19-20).

My Character

Soul, for too long, you’ve taken the easy way out. You’ve avoided conflict. Something in you has driven you to not stand against issues that need to be resisted, even to the point of compromise, peer pressure and undesired submission. Instead of facing problems, soul, you bury them, stuff them and then numb them when they try to get out. No longer. I will take whatever stand my spirit calls me to stand against, facing adversity with God’s strength. Guided by the God’s Holy Spirit, my spirit will now take the lead, make decisions and responding to God.

Far too long, my soul, you have given in to escape. When difficulties arise, you run to fleshly escapes. And in doing so, you quench all opportunities for growth, for character development, for hope.

    We rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us (Romans 5:3-5).

Soul, because you operate in this escape mentality that is so pervasive in our culture today, you have diminished my opportunity to grow in character and in hope. No longer. Through my experience with fear and panic and the ability to persevere through trusting in God, I was able to grow with incredible depth of character. But in these other fleshly areas, you no longer will drive me to escape. I will consciously be watching for your attempts to escape, and I will stop you. I will face whatever adversity comes my way by standing strong, firm and established in God.

I will grow in character, my soul, despite your attempts to escape. Soul, you are no longer in control.

Sincerely,

The reborn,
Christ-filled,
spirit of Russ

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Disappointed with God

January 15, 2009 · Filed Under general · 4 Comments 

I wonder sometimes if I’m disappointed with God. It’s not an outward shaking of my fist, “God, I’m disappointed with you.” No, it’s more of a quiet, inner gnawing where my thoughts drift to God’s intentions for me. God, are you really guiding me?

I know he loves me. I don’t question that. But, I wonder at times if he is really guiding my steps and ordering my path in life. Is he really moving me to the place where I need to be in life? Is this “Journey with God” my leading or his?

For some, this is not a big issue, but there is within me this deep need to walk with purpose in life. One of my favorite scriptures is 1 Corinthians 9:26, “I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step.” I know it’s God’s desire for me to walk with purpose, but the harder I press in to really understand this, the quieter heaven becomes, or so it seems.

I find myself disappointed. I spent the past month pressing into God to hear what he has planned for me this year. At first, I was disappointed at myself for not having sought God enough. Then, that underlying gnawing started to arise in me. God, you’re all powerful and all knowing. Surely, you can make my purpose known to me. That’s not a hard thing. I know it’s what you want. Nothing. Then, the disappointment started.

Lately, I’ve been talking to some people about the promises of God. One lady in particular has been waiting years for an answered prayer. I can hear in her words how the passing of years have become terribly discouraging. Her soul is wounded and bleeding, unhealed. It manifests in tears and unspoken disappointment.

Maybe you are disappointed with God. I know there are times that I’ve been disappointed. How do you respond?

First, God knows everything. He knows your thoughts. He created your inmost being. He knows you better than you know yourself. Maybe you’re disappointed and haven’t really admitted it to God. Maybe you’re afraid to admit it. Don’t be. God wants us to talk to him in all honesty. We must worship him in spirit and it truth. So, be honest with him. Or at least, be willing to be honest. Tell him how you really feel.

Next, let God show you if you are disappointed at him. Maybe, just maybe, you’ve stuffed all of this disappointment with God, because “it would be sin to be disappointed with God.” That’s okay—all of our sin has been dealt with on the Cross. Maybe God wants to help you through this disappointment so that this wound can be treated properly and healed. Let him show you. Let him be the Great Physician he is.

I believe there are many believers who have some unspoken disappointment with God. An unanswered prayer. A delayed promise. A difficult situation.

Even deeper, there are some believers who don’t even know or admit that they are disappointed with God. Out of pride or fear or a “religious” upbringing, they won’t admit in their hearts that they are disappointed with God. They bury it, hide it, maybe even numb it so that they don’t have to admit what they think would be a sin.

Why don’t you ask him? “Father, am I disappointed with you in anyway? Have I buried any disappointment with you and don’t acknowledge it? Through Holy Spirit, show me. Help me know the truth.”

Jesus said to the people who believed in him,“You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

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